hoochie dyke
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Posted on 16th Sep at 3:44 PM, with 1 note

also i now have an ekg order if i wake up in the middle of the night with 150+ bpm and for once i’m actually hoping i have an episode bc it would fucking suck if i only had mild ones for the next half month and then they resumed post discharge :”|

Posted on 16th Sep at 3:42 PM, with 12 notes

i got my discharge date, sept 30th, so almost exactly a month! lmao last week i was crying bc i wanted to go home and now i’m feeling anxious because i am going home even though it’s two weeks ago? i still really, really want to leave the hospital asap but i’m terrified of relapse igss.  there’s still going to be lots of support tho, i’ll just move to a day patient.

Posted on 16th Sep at 3:27 PM, with 19,936 notes
ponnukaka:

shinycroissants:

“I remember when I was doing “Rent” and I was too thin, and I was doing that on purpose because I’m dying, I’m a HIV+ drug addict. I remember having to eat raw food and doing all this work to make sure I could stay thin… And I remember everyone asking me when I was doing press for the movie, “what did you do to get so thin? You looked great!” and I’m like, “I looked emaciated.” It’s a form of violence in the way that we look at women and how we expect them to look and be, for… what’s sake? No…

I love her so much, you guys.

ed tw
my ed voice always repeats back to me ad nauseum all the compliments people unknowingly heaped on me when i lost like, 1/3 of my body weight in 6 mos this time or however much i lost all the other times my ed reared up. literally, that’s been one on of the strongest factors in my relapses, hearing all those things people have said about my weight over the years.
 i get that i need to learn to let those go, but it says something that losing 1/3 of my body weight and looking unhealthy in many ways was met with compliments.

ponnukaka:

shinycroissants:

“I remember when I was doing “Rent” and I was too thin, and I was doing that on purpose because I’m dying, I’m a HIV+ drug addict. I remember having to eat raw food and doing all this work to make sure I could stay thin… And I remember everyone asking me when I was doing press for the movie, “what did you do to get so thin? You looked great!” and I’m like, “I looked emaciated.” It’s a form of violence in the way that we look at women and how we expect them to look and be, for… what’s sake? No…

I love her so much, you guys.

ed tw

my ed voice always repeats back to me ad nauseum all the compliments people unknowingly heaped on me when i lost like, 1/3 of my body weight in 6 mos this time or however much i lost all the other times my ed reared up. literally, that’s been one on of the strongest factors in my relapses, hearing all those things people have said about my weight over the years.

 i get that i need to learn to let those go, but it says something that losing 1/3 of my body weight and looking unhealthy in many ways was met with compliments.

Posted on 13th Sep at 7:32 PM, with 10 notes

 btw the thing with my roommate blew over, she wasn’t mad and it was basically just ed frustration & other things so i’m fine and we’re still really close and i did decide to stay even tho i’m really really sick of being here

Posted on 12th Sep at 5:42 PM, with 14 notes

btw i did decide to stay at least for now and things are fine again between me and my roommates

ty to everyone who encouraged me

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